


A List of Things That Are No Longer Allowed

by haloburns



Series: Band Practice [10]
Category: Night In The Woods (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Skippy's List
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-07
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-19 14:10:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14238978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haloburns/pseuds/haloburns
Summary: Bea and Angus have an ongoing list...





	1. 9 Things Greggory Lee is No Longer Allowed to Do

**Author's Note:**

> i had too much fun writing this. please look up skippy's list for more, because not all of them could be altered to fit these characters. it's gold.

  1. My proper name is “Greggory Lee” not “Princess Anastasia”
  2. I may not wear gimp mask while at work
  3. Vodka, green food coloring, and a “Cool Mint” Listerine® bottle is not a good combination
  4. I should not drink three quarts of blue food coloring before a urine test
  5. Nor should I drink three quarts of red food coloring, and scream during the same
  6. When detained by the police, I do not have a right to a strip search
  7. I do not get “that time of the month”
  8. My husband is not interested in why I “just happen” to have a kilt, an inflatable sheep, and a box of rubber bands in the back of my car
  9. We do not show up at parent-teacher conferences “naked, like the Celts”




	2. 14 Things Mae Borowski is No Longer Allowed to Do

  1. Body checking someone is not a good idea
  2. Take that hat off, Mae
  3. “No Drinking Of Alcoholic Beverages” does not imply that a Jack Daniel’s ® IV is acceptable
  4. “Shpadoinkle” is not a real word
  5. I may not trade my bass for any of the following: Cigarettes, booze, sexual favors, Kalashnikovs, Soviet Armored vehicles, small children, or bootleg CD’s
  6. I am not authorized to change national policy in Eastern Europe
  7. Rodents are not entitled to burial with full military honors, even if they are “casualties of war”
  8. I must get a haircut even if it tampers with my “Samson like powers”
  9. The following words and phrases may not be used in a song: Budding sexuality, necrophilia, I hate everyone in this formation and wish they were dead, sexual lubrication, black earth mother, all Marines are latent homosexuals, Tantric yoga, Gotterdammerung, Korean hooker, Eskimo Nell, we’ve all got jackboots now, slut puppy, or any references to squid
  10. I am neither the king nor queen of cheese
  11. I may not challenge anyone to the “field of honor”
  12. My manager has neither the time nor the inclination to hear about what I did with six boxes of Fruit Roll-Ups ®
  13. When operating a vehicle I may not attempt something “I saw in a cartoon”
  14. I am not allowed to get shot




	3. 25 Things Little Casey is No Longer Allowed to Do

  1. I should not confess to crimes that took place before I was born (especially if they were committed by a person I happen to share a name with)I am not allowed to lead a “Coup” when teachers leave the classroom
  2. I cannot trade my parents to the Russians
  3. “I’m drunk” is a bad answer to any question posed by my parents (especially when I’m 12 years old)
  4. The proper way to when my parents call for me is “Coming!” or “Yes [sir/ma’am]” not “You can’t prove a thing!”
  5. Past lives have absolutely no effect on your grounding
  6. My parents are not old enough to have fought in the civil war, and I should stop implying that they did
  7. God may not contradict any of my parents' orders and/or punishments
  8. I may no longer perform my now (in)famous “Barbie Girl Dance” 
  9. I may not call any teachers immoral, untrustworthy, lying, slime, even if I’m right
  10. I must not tell any teacher that I am smarter than they are, especially if it’s true
  11. I am not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions
  12. I am not allowed to let sock puppets sit in time out for me
  13. I am not allowed to trade band equipment for magic beans
  14. I am not allowed to sell magic beans during study hours
  15. I may not make posters depicting the leadership failings of my teachers
  16. Or my parents
  17. “The Giant Space Ants” are not my overlords
  18. Parental decisions do not need to be ratified by a 2/3 majority seeing as I am an only sibling
  19. My parents sitting in the living room after I come in after breaking curfew are not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them “You don’t know it’s past curfew, these are not the droids you are looking for”
  20. Crucifixes do not ward off parents, and I should not test that
  21. On school documents, my race is not “Secretariat, in the third”
  22. The proper response to a scolding is not “That’s what you think”
  23. “To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys” is a bad long-term goal to give the career counselor
  24. I shouldn’t take incriminating photos of my teachers
  25. I also shouldn’t use Photoshop to _create_ incriminating photos of my teachers




	4. 20 Things Mae Borowski, Greggory Lee, and Casey Adina Delaney-Lee are No Longer Allowed to Do

  1. I am not allowed to bum cigarettes off of anyone under twelve
  2. I am not allowed to threaten anyone with black magic
  3. I am not allowed to challenge anyone’s disbelief of black magic by asking for hair
  4. I am not allowed to add “In accordance with the prophecy” to the end of answers I give to a question anyone asks me
  5. I am not allowed to purchase anyone’s soul on school time or anytime in which I get paid
  6. I am not allowed to join the Communist Party
  7. I am not allowed to join any militia
  8. I am not allowed to form any militia
  9. I cannot have flashbacks to wars I was not in (The Spanish-American War isn’t over)
  10. I am not allowed to ask for the day off due to religious purposes, on the basis that the world is going to end, more than once
  11. I do not have super-powers
  12. The proper response to a lawful order is not “Why?”
  13. It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission, no longer applies to anyone in this family
  14. I may not wear tin foil to “Block out the space mind control lasers”
  15. I must not flaunt my deviances in front of my principal/managers
  16. I am not in need of a more suitable host body
  17. The revolution is not now
  18. I should not speculate on the penis size of anyone who outranks me
  19. My name is not a killing word
  20. I am not allowed to give tattoos




	5. 5 Things Mae Borowski and Greggory Lee are No Longer Allowed to Do

  1. I should not confess to crimes that took place before I was born
  2. If the thought of something makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it
  3. There is absolutely no need to emulate the people from “Full Monty” every time I hear the song “Hot Stuff”
  4. No dancing on the balcony. This especially applies in conjunction with rule #44
  5. There is no such thing as a were-virgin



 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took way too long to do and i laughed way too much


End file.
